March 2011
6 posts
We just keep suffering blow after blow.
But we’ll push through them, I swear.
I didn’t write on night five. And I’m not gonna write about it, or nights six through twenty-five. Suffice it to say that I didn’t last 25 days. After my workout last Thursday, during my 10-minute walk back to campus, I contemplated whether or not I was gonna talk to you. On one hand, I hated making you wait, especially when I already knew my decision. On the other hand, I had...
2 tags
Night Four
It’s difficult to express in words how much I wanna call you and tell you how tired I am, how burned out I am, how much I miss you and how much I just wanna be in your arms.
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Night Three
You’ve texted me twice in the past twenty-four hours. Those texts should make my decision easier and strengthen it, but I don’t know. At first, I thought, “For sure. I’m gonna get back with him. I just need more time to make sure this is what I really want.” But now, I don’t know what I want. And it’d be unfair to you to be with someone who...
2 tags
Night Two
Last night wasn’t terrible. Tired myself out enough that I’d just fall asleep right away. Today was pretty bad though. I missed you every minute. Found myself wanting to just give in and call you and take back everything I said. I’m proud that I didn’t though. I wanna be sure of my decision. That’s why I’m taking all this time.
It got particularly...
2 tags
Night One
I see you everywhere. In the TOMS shoes someone was wearing at mass earlier, in the random songs that come up on my iPod, in the emptiness of my neck without your necklace. I know I told you not to talk to me in any way, but I still find myself periodically checking my phone for a text from you. I’m scared to go to sleep tonight because I’m scared of what those few minutes...
September 2010
3 posts
“I am no one special, just a common man with common thoughts. I’ve led a...”
– Noah Calhoun, The Notebook
With all my heart and soul, and that has always been enough.
I think that, more often than not, I’m pretty fair to you when it comes to you spending time with your friends. I don’t prohibit you from spending time with them. No girlfriend or boyfriend ever should, unless the friends are ridiculously bad influences. I don’t mind that you drink with them. I don’t mind that you smoke with them, despite the fact that you said you’d...
I like to text you right before I go to sleep every night. I'm not completely consistent about it, but I get to you at least 4 or 5 nights of every week. Last night, I was in a lovey mood about you, so this is how our text conversation went.
Me: I love you I love you I love you. Niiight.
You: Night.
Call it my hormones that are making me more emotional than normal (since I'm about to get my period), but that stung just a tiny bit.
August 2010
8 posts
Today is one of those days that we are better off not talking to each other because if we continue to, we’ll just annoy each other and get on each other’s nerves, and it won’t end well.
Forevermore, Side A
We were together for quite a...
Goodness, it’s been two weeks and I didn’t even realize it. I’ve been caught up in watching a particular series for the past few weeks and I’ve been neglecting Tumblr a bit, especially this one. But really, I just haven’t known what to say to you lately.
Last night, we went to a party that’s held annually. It marks the second one for us. Honestly, I was a bit...
I miss you. It’s only been a couple of days since I’ve seen you, but our schedules seem to be off lately. You’re becoming more nocturnal and, naturally, I’m diurnal. So we don’t get to talk too much. So…
I miss you.
1 tag
You texted and said something like, “No, no, I’ll pick you up.” And I said, “Are you sure? You already live near the mall. I can just meet you there.” In the time between that text was sent and your next text was received, I was thinking, “You know what the perfect response would be? Just a simple, ‘I’m sure.’” I don’t know why. It...
Anyone Else But You, Ellen Page and Michael Cera...
Today was an exceptional day.
You were having trouble falling asleep since you were alone and I was still up because I was studying (for the most part). So instead of sleeping, you picked me up at my house around 4:30am and we grabbed a quick breakfast at a place near here. I could tell you didn’t want to go home yet (and quite honestly, I didn’t want you to either), so we went to my...
July 2010
27 posts
1 tag
You picked me up and instead of lunch, we shared dessert. Banana split. I had the vanilla part while you took everything else. We talked about everything else but what we were supposed to talk about. You had a habit of evading things, as did I. We both still have that habit now.
We drove on over to a park where one of your cousins and a few of his friends were playing football and, later,...
1 tag
I remember walking by your side the first time I ever went to your house. We’d been dating for a total of about 6 days. (But I’d “liked” you for a while before that.) It was a few days after Christmas and it was your grandma’s birthday, an event that your whole family (extended included) gathers for every year. I’m sure you can imagine how intimidated I was that...
You know, we’re really good when we’re together (physically). I don’t mean that sexually. I mean, when we’re around each other, we just mesh (most of the time). Of course, we annoy and irritate each other (more often in the past few months than ever), but we always forgive and go back to each other.
But when we’re apart, it’s a completely different story. I...
You made me feel so ugly yesterday. No, it’s not an exaggeration.
I’m nervous about the next week or so. The first reason is pretty silly, though I’m sure a lot of girls understand me. A game you’ve been so looking forward to is coming out in a couple of days and I’m sure I’ll be seeing less of you. I’ve never had a problem with how often you play games though. I’ve never even minded when I come over and all I do is...
I quite enjoyed today. We went out with your family, just walking around and shopping. We had lunch and I haven’t laughed that much in a while. Your mom is the cutest thing. And I’ve come to love your family. Granted, things are still awkward from time to time, but I’d say we’re overall pretty comfy around each other.
I wish you could say the same about my family. My mom...
We’ve been great lately. I’m just really trying to take it day by day, making sure to not become too overbearing nor too carefree when it comes to us.
Yesterday, we watched a movie with some people. Inception. (Absolutely, positively great.) Then we all went out for a round of drinks and some dinner. (I think during drinks and dinner, we really got on each other’s nerves. But we...
I can’t even explain the gratefulness and euphoria I feel when you randomly grab my hand. Whenever my hand is without yours, I can feel it just searching. And I can feel its relief when its found what its looking for.
I’m kinda disappointed that I haven’t been updating as regularly as I thought I would, but that’s besides the point.
I’ve realized that you and I annoy each other, probably more than the other lets on. On my end, I’m annoyed/disappointed that you’re not that same way you used to be during our first year together, that we’re not as compatible as I used to...
I haven’t been able to update lately due to reasons that, if I state them, may reveal who I am or where I’m writing from. Not that it really matters considering I only have one reader, I think. Haha.
Overall, since my last post, you and I have been doing really well. We went on another date last night. Spent a few hours of solid time together, cuddling, holding hands across the table...
You are always on my mind.
Day 4 of not seeing you. I was gonna see how long we could go without seeing each other (aka, I was gonna see how long I could avoid you), but unfortunately, it’s gonna end today because my dad wants you over tomorrow, for dinner and to talk to you. Kinda nervous for you, not gonna lie. But because you love me, you’re gonna be a man (man-chicken, hahaha) and...
You have this habit or cycle. You and I will go a few weeks spending little time together. Then you begin to notice that I’m becoming more moody and that we’ve been spending little time together. So you attempt to make up for it.
Let’s have breakfast.
Let’s have dinner.
Let’s do something this weekend.
Let’s watch a movie.
Let’s go to my condo.
So...
I know I said I’d try to focus on the positive. After this post, I’ll try again.
The quote from yesterday was from an episode of One Tree Hill, when Brooke was breaking up with Lucas. After she said that, she continued speaking, but Lucas’ voiceover was saying,
“I guess I should’ve said something, anything. I mean, for a guy who wants to be a writer, it suddenly...
“We go days without having a meaningful conversation, and I used to miss you so...”
– One Tree Hill
Didn’t see you today. I always feel like it’s such a loss when days like today happen. But then, on the other hand, I always hope on days like this that you miss me even half as much as I miss you whenever you’re not around.
I suppose that, today, I’m just happy for another day of you and me.
We went to watch a movie today. Whenever we see a movie, I always remember our first date and that makes me happy. Today, we held hands and you had your arm around me and we talked so much. We kissed and when you dropped me off at my house, you gave me one of the best goodbye kisses you’ve given me in a while. I don’t think you understand how happy those simple acts make me. So, thank...
“After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul…”
An excerpt from Veronica A. Shoffstall that I found on someone’s blog. And I’m learning, I promise.
After we talked last night, I thought about it long and hard throughout the night and this morning. I was pretty fine last night, but then I woke up with the worst...
Well, I’ve done it. Not without crying, but I’ve done it. Of course, we’ll talk more tomorrow because that four-minute phone call does not suffice, but for now, I’ll go on and study with a lighter heart.
P.S. You should know, I miss you already.
I tried/am trying really hard, but I can’t do it. In my mind, I’ve steeled myself and I’m all, “Okay. You’ve got to do this. It’ll benefit your relationship. You have to do it.” But when you came by tonight and I took in your grin, your hug, your hands, your smell, my resolve crumbled. I tried to come out and say it (based on my count) about four or five...
It’s coming soon. I think I can feel it.
When you start going out with other girls more than you do with your own girlfriend, I think it might signal that yeah, there’s a problem.
Things I wish you’d do more (or just do):
Hug me randomly.
Text me randomly. (Like you used to.)
Talk to me about anything and everything. Your hopes, your desires, your problems, just anything.
Take me out on dates — actual dates.
Kidnap me from school and take me to the beach. Or just take me.
Be more emotional (and romantic!) than logical. Your friends always tell me how...
I think it was just my luck to fall for someone like you, someone who constantly needs people needing him, who constantly needs to be with people. And I think it was just your luck to end up with someone like me, someone who gets jealous when she needs to share you too much, who gets jealous when you talk to/are with someone too much, even if it’s because they need your help.
I’m...
I just love how other people are able to steal you away and share their problems with you but I can do neither. I barely have anytime left with you, and the time I do have, apparently, she can have it instead. As if she hasn’t taken enough of your time, with you being her “personal trainer.” And you take this time to smoke, which you promised you’d quit two months ago....
I recently learned that I’m not the only person who thinks too much, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that I think too much. And today, like any other day, I thought about a lot of things. These are the things I can remember thinking about you.
I’m jealous that you’ve spent more time with one of our friends (who happens to be a girl) in the past week than...
I know these types of things have probably been done more times than I can imagine, but I think I really need an outlet for the words and emotions that I can’t say or show to you. Half of me hopes you never find this so that I can be spared the talk (and possible embarrassment) that’s sure to follow regarding what I write. But the other half wants you to find it so that you can finally...