“After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul…”
An excerpt from Veronica A. Shoffstall that I found on someone’s blog. And I’m learning, I promise.
After we talked last night, I thought about it long and hard throughout the night and this morning. I was pretty fine last night, but then I woke up with the worst feeling in my stomach. I felt sick with anxiety. I’ve never felt that way in my life. And I knew why I was feeling it. All morning, I felt like throwing up, and I literally felt like a huge part of me was missing. That’s why I made the decision to not push through with it. I could’ve broken up with you; of that, I’m sure. But I didn’t want to, so I refuse. Conviction has never felt so good.
From now on, I’m gonna attempt to focus on the good side, the bright parts of our relationship. By the looks of this blog, I’ve probably made it seem like you’re a bad boyfriend and I’m a psycho girlfriend. The latter part may be true, but the part about you isn’t. You’ve got your flaws, of course. But you’ve been such a huge part of my life for the past year and a half and you’ve changed me so much and you’ve been so good to me.
You know, this past summer, I became really close with a guy whom I’ve known for a while. I developed light feelings for him, a bit of a crush, and some of my friends even supported it. They thought that he would be so good for me because he’s such a gentleman and we apparently “click” better and all this stuff. And at that point, I actually agreed a bit. But I’ve come to realize that no, he and I never would’ve worked out because he’s not you. Oh my gosh, so cheesy, but it’s true. You’re what’s good for me and, as I’ve told you before, I don’t want anyone else. Like I’ve said, you’re it for me.
